Step Right Up Folks & Gaze Upon These 7 Weird Coffee Products

How much do you love coffee? Drinking it every day, multiple times a day and reading a coffee-themed blog on the regular may not be enough to cut it anymore to qualify you as a true Coffee Fanatic!

That’s because there are those coffee fiends among us who have taken their coffee and caffeine obsession to new and unexpected places. Whether you love the smell of coffee so much that you have coffee-scented candles for your home or you need caffeine faster than you can sip a hot brew so you munch on coffee mints—there is now an entire world of unorthodox coffee creations to satiate your needs.

Side note: does it actually qualify as a mint if it isn’t actually mint flavored? Apparently.

1. You may not be shocked to learn that there is coffee-flavored ice cream—I mean frappuccinos are essentially extra-icy coffee milkshakes. But did you know that there is ice cream, in a tub, that is caffeinated? Bang!! Ice cream isn’t even necessarily coffee flavored, but it allegedly has as much energizing content as 125 mg of caffeine. The energy comes from Guarana seed extract instead of caffeine and I am now dying to try their “peanut buttah” flavor!

2. Sticking with sweets, one way to turn your mocha latte into an adult hot chocolate would be with coffee marshmallows! I saw tons of recipes for home-made versions of this, and there are, of course, coffees and creamers that are marshmallow flavored. There are also brands that produce coffee marshmallows if you’re not a DIYer. Caffex has three coffee-themed marshmallow flavors: Java, Mocca, and straight up Coffee, as well as Choco and Mint. “Essentially, it is an energy shot inside an oversized marshmallow.” While it seems like Caffex may be discontinuing some of these products, but there are other brands; and, like I said, there are innumerable recipes on the Interwebs that vary between simple and complex to make your coffee marshmallow dreams come true.

3. Just like coffee mints, but more exciting to me, there are also coffee lollipops from a variety of brands. There have been coffee-flavored goodies since there has been coffee, I’m certain, but some of these lollipops actually have caffeine in them. There’s something so convenient and fun about being able to get my caffeine fix on-the-go like that. It takes me back to the days before exhausting adulthood when a little bit of sugar gave me enough energy for a day and a half. Nowadays, I’m lucky if I don’t crash 20 minutes after a piece of cake. And don’t even get me started on my hips. With a caffeinated lollipop—well, it’s a whole new ball game.

4. Speaking of being a kid, there are coffee-flavored lip balms! I used to love Dr. Pepper lip balm and I had a chocolate-flavored (scented? Flavored? ) one that I definitely ate about half of just straight. These balms aren’t caffeinated as far as I can tell; but, there are brands that boast a precise replica of your favorite coffee aromas. These are the kinds of products that true coffee obsessives need. You’re not using them to substitute for your coffee, you’re not caffing up; you just want to be reminded of a freshly brewed cup of coffee or a French vanilla latte at every moment of the day.

5. I’ve written before about using coffee grinds as an exfoliating scrub for the face; but, there are also coffee soaps! These, of course, have their fair share of DIY tutorials all about the Net; but, for those of us who barely have time to go out and buy soap let alone make it from scratch, there are a variety of brands that offer soap made with real-life, honest to god coffee. This product isn’t just for coffee addicts who want their entire body to smell like their favorite brew and not just their lips; there are health benefits as well! Coffee is a natural antioxidant and washing with coffee-infused soap can help bring these antioxidant benefits to your dermis. Antioxidants keep your cells strong and healthy and minimize oxidation which leads to the Big C—Cancer. Some also claim that coffee soap is particularly good for those with sensitive skin or those with delicate sun burns, which means I need to get my hands on some asap. Coffee soap also, of course, exfoliates your skin, especially if the grinds are raised on the surface of the soap. Additionally, they’re also supposed to act as a mild astringent depending on the recipe which means it helps to firm up your skin and can minimize the appearance of cellulite, at least for a few hours. Natural coffee is also “one of natures best deodorizers” which makes it an excellent soap addition. Certain brands that are also supposed to be superior stain-removers and grease fighters.

6. Back to consumables, my next to last product is another lazy lady’s method for caffing-up: coffee flavored and caffeinated gum! Caffeinated gum is a bit of a more mature way to get a quick, on-the-go caffeine fix than lollipops. You can get coffee-flavored gum or you can just get your basic mint or citrus flavor that packs up to 100 mg of caffeine depending on the brand. Some brands dropped out of the caffeinated game after the FDS made restrictions on the drug stronger, but you can definitely still find some excellent ones out there. I definitely need a pack to carry with me for when I find myself in need of a pick=-me-up with no coffee shop (or cash) on hand.

7. Finally, and really the weirdest product I’m going to talk about is water. This section is two-fold: firstly, there is water you can get that has been specifically tailored to brew the best possible cup of coffee. These coffee-specific waters have been modified to minimize their mineral content so that when you brew your coffee you get as much caffeine and coffee flavor infused into your water as possible. Secondly, and most weirdly, is caffeinated water. Yes. You read that correctly. From the brand Water Joe’s website: If you look at the ingredients of other energy drinks and caffeinated beverages, they can tend to read like a long chemistry book. Water Joe is energy in its simplest form: Water + Caffeine. No sugar, no artificial sweeteners, no color, no taste.” From what I know about caffeine, I’m going to bet there’s some amount of bitterness involved here because caffeine is what gives coffee its signature bitter taste. Robusta strains are exceptionally bitterer than the more commonly used Arabica because their caffeine content is so much higher. That being said, I can’t say my interest isn’t piqued. I am the kind of person who constantly has two beverages near me: coffee and water. If I could hydrate and caffeinate in one fell swallow, well, I know my kidneys would probably thank me.

What do you think of these unorthodox products? Have you or would you try any? Do you know of any others that are even more unexpected?


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